All Bloody Business!
You have to wonder if the British teams in the Champions League did that old trick with the heated balls.
Talk about an easy ride. While Barcelona play Inter and Real Madrid face Milan, Arsenal have got AZ Alkmaar. We know that the group stages of the competition are little more than a holding operation before the real thing begins in the spring, but even so, Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal and Chelsea might as well have been handed a bye.
Not, of course, that they did not find cause for complaint. Sir Alex was worried about travel fatigue for his United players. The thought of being obliged to yomp all that way to Moscow and Istanbul to play CSKA and Besiktas upset the poor old soul. Apparently unaware that Rio Ferdinand happily flits midweek to a party in Florida and Wayne Rooney is forever swishing over to Spain for a video game shoot, Ferguson is worried that travel, far from broadening his players’ minds, compromises their hamstrings.
Three thousand miles each way to Russia is not what he wants midweek in a crowded fixture calendar. Mind, given his record, Ferguson was probably using a bit of psychology here, some diversionary tactics from what he knows is the biggest threat to his team’s advancing. That comes not from cramping up in the first class cabin, but from the identity of the fourth member of his group.
Wolfsburg may only be a relatively short hop across the channel to Germany, but the Bundesliga champions were oddly served by the draw. Quite how the best team in the fourth best league in Europe ended up as fourth seeds is a question for one of Michel Platini’s seminars. With their striking partnership of the Brazilian Grafite and the Bosnian Edin Dzeko wreaking havoc on German defensive discipline last season, it is not fanciful to see them coming second behind United. And possibly taking a few points from them along the way.
Liverpool and Chelsea, on the other hand, both face foes not so much familiar as wearisomely repetitive. When the draw is made you can stake your mortgage on the certainty that Lyon will be pitched up against an English club. As for Chelsea against Porto, it seems to happen as regularly as Chelsea against West Ham. And rarely have the Portuguese threaten to derail blue ambition. Arsene Wenger, meanwhile, will already be planning to rest key players from the hurly burly of the Premier League during fixtures against Alkmaar, Olympiakos and Standard Liege. We can expect several whey-faced youngsters to turn out in those games. And that’s just Andrei Arshavin.
The problem with the group stage is that it is now almost entirely political. The expansion of the competition that Michel Platini requires in order to garner the votes to stay in office has not affected the power structure of the draw. That remains all about ensuring that the big clubs gain a clean and clear run at the knockout stages, the place where the television money really kicks in. If there was a chance of them not being there, they would take their ball away and organise a competition of their own.
UEFA can no more afford a final stage without their marquee names than the marquee names can afford to miss out. So we can now safely say that the last 16 will feature Arsenal, United, Liverpool, Chelsea, Milan, Real Madrid, Inter and Barcelona, plus in all likelihood, Bayern Munich, Fiorentina, Atletico Madrid and Stuttgart. That is what the big clubs demand and that is what UEFA will deliver.
Which leaves us with what? Well, three months of jet lag, Arsenal debutants and Fergie wondering why it is only his team that is obliged to play away at tea time on Saturday after a Wednesday night away in Europe. The Champions League group stage is not a competition, it’s a waiting room until the real thing starts in the spring. Set your alarms for March: there is precious little in this draw to keep you awake until then.
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It has been the longest, laziest of summers for the sport that never sleeps, but, if the sight of Wayne Rooney charging after John Terry was not quite enough to convince you that the football season is now upon us, then the finger-jabbing recriminations that followed the Community Shield match at Wembley yesterday set the tone for another ding-dong between Chelsea and Manchester United over the next 9½ months.