How To Screw Up A Club In The World’s Highest Money Spinning League!

Portsmouth have been given another seven days to stave off ‘Pompeygeddon’ after the High Court gave them a breather following an order put upon them by Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs(HMRC).

The story will rumble on for at least another week now, although perhaps longer if the club can find their fifth owner of the season in time to avoid liquidation.

Pompey pleaded for more time on the basis that they have received two “serious offers” to buy the financially shattered club, as opposed to the clown offers that were accepted from Sulaiman al-Fahim and Ali al-Faraj.

It shows how severe their case is that they only got seven days to sort out their affairs while lower divisions clubs Cardiff and Southend both got 28 days.

The meltdown at Fratton Park is the biggest financial story in football since Leeds’ spectacular fall from grace, with two key differences: Portsmouth never really splashed obscene cash on players (Seth Johnson, anyone?) and they actually lifted a trophy.

That FA Cup triumph less than two years ago must feel like a long time ago for Pompey fans, especially when you look at the time-line of events that followed it:

May 2008: Beat Cardiff (oh, sweet irony) at Wembley to lift FA Cup. Scoop £1m prize money plus half of gate and TV money. Qualify for Europe for first time in club’s history.

August 2008: Take Manchester United to penalties in Community Shield, before losing shootout 3-1.

October 2008: Manager Harry Redknapp leaves to take over at Tottenham. “Tottenham have come in and offered £5m, which is good for the club (Portsmouth), if we’re all being honest. It worked out okay for everybody. I think the club in all honesty needed the money - things are tight.” You see, Portsmouth fans, he did it for you. Redknapp’s assistant Tony Adams is appointed as his replacement.

November 2008: Portsmouth welcome Milan to Fratton Park for UEFA Cup group match. A Rossoneri side that includes such luminaries as Kaka, Shevchenko, Seedorf and Senderos have to rely on late goals from Ronaldinho and Pippo Inzaghi to salvage 2-2 draw.

January 2009: Jermain Defoe and Lassana Diarra are sold to Tottenham and Real Madrid respectively for a total of £35m. Knocked out of FA Cup at home by Swansea.

February 2009: Adams gets the boot after just four wins in 22 matches see Pompey plummet towards relegation. Youth team boss Paul Hart appointed as caretaker.

May 2009: Portsmouth avoid relegation, believed to be worth as much as £30m. Sulaiman al-Fahim has takeover bid accepted. Everybody gets excited.

July 2009: Al-Fahim passes Premier League’s fit and proper person’s test, believed to be low-difficulty Sudoku.

August 2009: Transfer window closes with several players leaving, including Glen Johnson (Liverpool, £18m), Sulley Muntari (Internazionale, £12.5m) and Niko Kranjcar (Tottenham, £2.5m. Bring in Aaron Mokoena and Tommy Smith. Al-Fahim finally completes takeover, and rocks up at Fratton Park in Portsmouth shirt and baseball cap. Everybody gets worried.

September 2009: Beaten 1-0 at home by Everton, making it a record seven losses from their opening seven league matches. Everybody panics.

October 2009: Club reveals that player wages have not been paid on time. Al-Fahim sells 90 per cent stake in club to Ali al-Faraj, bringing his 40-day reign of terror to an end. Premier League places transfer embargo on club due to unpaid money owed to Chelsea and Arsenal for purchases of Johnson and Diarra (sold for combined total of £38m earlier in the year).

November 2009: Hart sacked after just two wins in 13 league matches and Pompey rooted to bottom of table. Director of Football Avram Grant replaces him.

December 2009: Wages are delayed twice in space of a month, both at start of December and over Christmas. Second late payment finally arrives courtesy of short-term loan from Hong Kong businessman Balram Chainrai (who he?). Club pays £2m chunk of debt owed to taxman as the letters ‘HMRC’ and phrase ‘winding up petition’ start being heard too often for comfort.

January 2010: Wages are delayed for the fourth time in season. Premier League withholds instalment of television rights money and uses it to pay off Portsmouth’s creditors. Sol Campbell helps out his old team by suing them for cash they owe him. Pompey’s website goes down for several hours due to non-payment to company that runs it. Harry Redknapp makes up for pinching Kranjcar on the cheap by overpaying for Younes Kaboul, allowing the club to pay January’s wages. Goalkeeper Asmir Begovic also makes quick getaway, eventually joining Stoke.

February 2010: Al-Faraj defaults on loan, putting the club in Chainrai’s hands. Chainrai moves to calm everyone’s nerves by saying: “I have zero interest in buying Portsmouth and it’s completely untrue that I am the new owner of the club. As far as I am concerned, I have just confiscated the shares of the previous owners. It’s nothing to do with controlling the club. I don’t know anything about running a football club.” Lone Portsmouth fan cries outside High Court as, inside, it is revealed that Pompey owe £11.5m and, as far as HMRC is concerned, is insolvent.

March 2010: ?